Silence

25-2016-12-30-14-27-51So, at the moment, I now know that two days in a row out in the world results in me feeling very ill, then going into shutdown, and losing my words. It is happening quite often at the moment. I was completely non-verbal for about 3 hours last night.

I plan a proper post about losing words, and how I’ve been doing so regularly since I was a young child. But today is not the time for such a post because I don’t have the stamina and my head hasn’t processed it enough yet. However, I wrote a poem a few weeks ago, and after last night’s silent episode it seems that this would be a good moment to post it.

I have been
Losing words
Since childhood.

Nobody remembers
Early speech
When
Or how.

Information incomplete.

But words
Missing.
Every so often.
Throughout my life.

Silence when angry.
Silence when tired.

Stroppy?
Stubborn?

Meltdown.
Shutdown.

Sometimes just gone.
Or hard to make.
For no reason.

Ideas not lost.
All in my head.
Concepts. Pictures.
But connection unplugged.
Translation not working.

Often
Typing is the way.
Technology
Compensating.

Asking my husband for a glass of juice via facebook message…

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